Dude. Take your meds. I know the side effects suck. I sympathize. But for the LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY. TAKE YOUR MEDS.
People hardly ever say "maybe," they insist I should, despite knowing how the medications destroyed my body. 15 different trials or more is enough for anybody. The balance I need can be achieved through diet, exercise, meditation, and most important, of course, writing. Counseling, short term, is all I'm going to do to placate the worshippers of this pseudo-science. If that's not enough, too bad for them, but it ought to be.
There is nothing wrong with me that isn't wrong with you. If you have such faith in therapy and medication, go to it all yourself. I gave it a fair shake, but that store has nothing I need. I’m not such a dude since I am female.
I had another dream I was giving analingus to someone early this morning, then started to use my fingers, then my fist, then that toy I have that goes inside me deep enough to stimulate the g-spt, and then just lookslike I have an eight inch purple penis. Yum.
I don't like topping so much though, so I would only do that for someone really special, and there aren't that many really specials out there right now.
The dude across from me at this cafe is watching a bunch of anal videos that are set up as if they come from a woman's prison, and a bunch of others that are just about guys fucking women up the ass.
Women are lucky that way. Guys practically beg for anal, so if they can take the little bit of pain that comes from receiving that, they get to experience a whole new avenue of pleasure that works if you're a sexualist or a sensualist, because it both works and hurts, and it's dirty and taboo.
But when I rammed that vibrating butt plug up into Dave Lubinski at the Leather Retreat, he was so happy and grateful. It made me want to do it to at least one other person. When I got back to Boston, I bought a harness. Then a few months later I bought the toy I just mentioned.
I'm not sure I can get it inside me at the moment though, might need some help with that. Well, I guess that's what buttboys are for.
I'm talking to another newish male empatyh. I'm attracting a lot of those lately.